That's when the Blue Haired Leaf Peepers invade Maine.
It is their mission to watch the leaves fall off of the trees.
It was on one of these colorful days that I went down into the village and encountered...
" Dawn of the Almost Dead"
(insert scary music here)
I pulled my truck into the local "Gas n' Shit",
a combination filling station and fast food establishment, and what I saw next was ...
Beyond Reality!
The entire paved area surrounding the Gas n' Shit, was randomly scattered with staggering, brain dead ZOMBIES!
There must have been 30 or 40 of them.
Blue hair, vacant looks, and bad polyester clothes. Aimlessly hobbling in slow, unpredictable directions.
Carefully, I navigated through the zombies towards the rear of the building, where the drive-thru is located.
Standing in front of the "Shit Burger" menu board, was a woman that could have been a stand-in for Gumby. (only not as flexible)
Her skinny frame wobbled back and forth as she took long drags off of a cigarette that was cradled in her stiff, straight fingers.
Her gaze was directed at a point that was neither in space nor at the menu that she was facing. She most definitely was not focused in my direction.
Slowly I approached the menu.
Thats when, suddenly...She Saw Me!
The look on her face could not have been more extreme had I been 2 feet from hitting her at 70 mph!
Standing in front of the "Shit Burger" menu board, was a woman that could have been a stand-in for Gumby. (only not as flexible)
Her skinny frame wobbled back and forth as she took long drags off of a cigarette that was cradled in her stiff, straight fingers.
Her gaze was directed at a point that was neither in space nor at the menu that she was facing. She most definitely was not focused in my direction.
Slowly I approached the menu.
Thats when, suddenly...She Saw Me!
The look on her face could not have been more extreme had I been 2 feet from hitting her at 70 mph!
Her eyes bulged and her mouth flew open.
She dropped her cigarette, her body tried to dash towards the building as her head tried to flee to the opposite direction. Then like a slinky, they met in the middle and headed in opposite directions again. After trying to run three directions at the same time without leaving the starting point, she finally managed to jump out of the way and into the parking lot.
Narrowly escaping the jaws of certain death!
She dropped her cigarette, her body tried to dash towards the building as her head tried to flee to the opposite direction. Then like a slinky, they met in the middle and headed in opposite directions again. After trying to run three directions at the same time without leaving the starting point, she finally managed to jump out of the way and into the parking lot.
Narrowly escaping the jaws of certain death!
Meanwhile, I'm just sitting there.
After all, I didn't want to startle her or anything.
I ordered my #2 (shitburger with fries and cola) and continued around the building where I found the source of this Evil.
It was the Zombie Express Tour Bus.
As cautiously as I had entered, I wove through the herd of pastel polyester and made my way out. (laughing)
Yeah, I'm a survivor.
You can't let your guard down.
Not for a minute.
You never know what you'll encounter.
Not here.
Not on Planet Dandy.
You can't let your guard down.
Not for a minute.
You never know what you'll encounter.
Not here.
Not on Planet Dandy.
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