Sunday, September 24, 2006

Shroom Shtick

So, there I was, applying some Campbells Cream of Mushroom Soup to my under arms. This is done easily by opening both ends of the can and pushing the firm soup substance out of one end.(Not at all unlike speed stick.) This way I can keep that garlicky mushroom aroma with me all day.
As I'm doing this, I look at the can and notice a blue banner across the label that says, GREAT FOR COOKING.
Wow, I thought to myself. Had I not read the label, I may never have thought of that application to my mushroomy friend.
So, I tried it, and it was true. It really is great for cooking!
Shroom Shtick. Mmm, mmm, good!

Monday, September 18, 2006

Bottle Rackets

While sitting here at the computer eating my breakfast of potatoes and eggs, I began to ponder marketing schemes and how they have a way of sneaking into your home no matter how shielded you may feel from commercial invasion.
The label on my Heinz Tomato Ketchup is proudly screaming that is NEW by virtue of it's FRIDGE DOOR FIT bottle. It has bold letters and yellow banners to make sure I notice. It even has two separate pictures that show me how it fits on the shelf in the fridge door.
I try to remember how I've lived so long without this version of the product that I love so much. Gone are the days when I had to bungy strap the bottle to the butter tray. Never again will I have to super glue it to the milk bottle. Finally a ketchup bottle that I can simply place on the shelf in the fridge with ease.
This is the greatest thing since they started putting shampoo in plastic bottles.
Are you old enough to remember that revelation in consumer convenience? The television ad showed the guy in the shower who couldn't get to the shampoo, so he calls to his wife, "Honey, could you hand me the shampoo?" As she passes it to him over the shower curtain, his soapy hands let the bottle slip and fall to the floor...but it doesn't break... It bounces!
Because it's PRELL SHAMPOO, in the NEW UNBREAKABLE BOTTLE!
I used to wonder why it wasn't in the shower already. Where else are you going to keep the shampoo?
It is my new theory that it was probably on the shelf in the fridge door. Because, as we just learned, it would be years before the ketchup would ever fit there!
Get yours while supplies last.
Not available in some stores.
Void where prohibited.