Pussy

It's Sunday morning. I woke up a feeling little hung over, but then again, I always do, no matter how well behaved I've been.
Not much point in behaving I guess.
Before opening my eyes I stretch my arm over to the right of me and feel her warm body.
I knew she would still be there. She always is, and I take comfort in that.
She is so beautiful in the morning with the sun caressing her body and warming her hair.
I snuggle up to her for a few kisses then sluggishly wander down stairs to start the water for my tea.
Most days she would be right behind me, but today...Not even the sound of the television or the smells and sounds of breakfast tempt her to join me.
Should I have stayed in bed with her? Did she think I would come back? It's hard to know what she expects from me some times.
I prepare my breakfast.
Just as I'm setting my hash and eggs on the table she walks in and sits down. I should have expected this, her timing is impeccable.
She just sits there and stares at me, expressionless.
Now, am I supposed to feel some kind of guilt for something? I hate these awkward moments.
I put a little food on a plate for her. She just looks at it, then walks outside to sit on the back porch which is right outside the kitchen window.
She watches me watch her.
Whatever.
I enjoyed my meal alone while watching some romantic drama unfold on the television.
Now, all that's left, is for me to do the dishes.
Her food will stay on her plate.
She went out for breakfast.
I know this because I can see her from where I sit as I write this.
She went to her usual place. Her favorite place.
She loves sitting in that path that goes through the tall grass in the yard.
She'll sit there for an hour if she has to.
She always gets her mouse.
She's good.
I love my cat.

MONDO DANDY

It's Alive, IT'S ALIVE!!
(insert thunder and lightning)
My new blog site, MONDO DANDY, is now open for your pleasure.
MONDO DANDY will be used exclusively for PHOTOGRAPHS taken by me, with the exception of some photographs that are taken of me, in which case, it's still all about me! (humble lovable me)
I shall be scouring the planet every day to find an interesting view to share.
If I fail to capture something fresh, I will insert something from my historical archives.
Expect the unexpected. From the mundane to the extreme.
From road kill, to the bizzaro dimension that I like to refer to as my life.
MONDO DANDY awaits you!

Snoogins!

All things worthy of writing about, as of late, have been too much about other peoples lives around me and too personal to share so soon. Better left to use as retrospective memory stories later on, after the drama dies down a bit.
Also, I make it a personal policy to keep my stories about me or the magical and strange world around me. (Lately, those elements have been a little blah.)
However, After this weekend I will be unveiling a new multi-media project that will help me with my plans to conquer the world!
So, fear not. There's plenty more of me on the way!
For lack of anything else to submit right now, I have tweaked a couple of my recent blogs.
(Scroll down if you care.)
Snooky, snooky, snooch!

The Mirror

Gaze if you can
through the mirror to your mind,
in search for a soul
that you can not find.
A distorted vision
awaits you there,
a face that no longer
can seem to care.
A life without meaning,
a means with no cause,
transgressions of years
scrawled with blood on the walls.
Surreptitious existence
evolved in your head.
Your questions unanswered
till too late,
you are dead.

(A little ditty I wrote during my Jim Morrison phase back around 1980.)

Lair of the White Worm

Did you ever see a picture of a human brain?
It looks like a giant white worm that has been crammed into a bowl that it can't quite fit into.
Well this morning my worm felt a little swollen from the vodka that I poured into it's bowl,
so to ease it's pain,
I am marinating it in beer.
That should tenderize it just enough to ease the swelling and allow it to lay comfortably numb in the bowl,
leaving just enough room for a few thought to move around without disturbing it...
too much.

Nnngh...err............doh...!

Damn, I was gonna close with a witty comment...
but when I tried to think of it...
my worm started to throb...
and I don't want to wake it...
so this time...
I will just slip..
out...
quietly.

shhhhh...

What's On T.V.?

While taking a random visual inventory of the surroundings in my castle, I thought I would share one corner of it with you.
This is what is on top of my television.

1. A raccoon skull that I salvaged from a road kill.
   
2. The jaw bone of a deer that I found while walking through the forest a long time ago.
3. The wing bone from a pelican that I found on a beach in the Dry Tortugas.
4. An autographed coon dick (raccoon penis bone) necklace that I got from j.t. leroy as part of the promotion for his book, "Sarah."
   
5. Two half burnt flesh colored candles that look like fingers. The wax drips red like blood as they burn.
6. One leopard print votive candle.
7. Three tiny stuffed animals. A polar bear, a leopard print tedddy bear, and Pooh's friend Eeyore.
   
8. Three trendy rubber bracelets, all black, that say, "GETCHA' PULL-DIMEBAG R.I.P.
9. Two colorful wooden match boxes with skeletons and sequins for celebrating the Mexican Day of the Dead.
   
10. A green Alice Cooper snake skin wallet with a Billion Dollar Babies logo medallion on the side and a chain made of the same medallions.
11. A simple iron legged lamp with a classy leopard skin lamp shade that I got at the dollar store.
12. A red and black plastic lizard tail that some one gave me. It was part of something else at a better time in it's life.
    
13. A provocative Disney's Tarzan statuette in the crawling on all fours position.
14. And lastly and leastly...dust. (I ain't no Martha Stewart)
    

That may sound like a lot, but it's all small stuff.
And, I've got a huge television.
Size DOES matter!
Thank you for visiting Planet Dandy.
So now, what's on t.v.?

Igor Found Dead

Crisis struck Planet Dandy last weekend when Igor, the Planet Dandy computer, was found dead.
"It happened so sudden", commented a distrought Jim Dandy. " It was working fine Friday night, then when I tried to turn it on Saturday morning...Nothing! I'm in a state of shock! Every other thing that I do here in Castle Dandy, involves the computer. From using my digital camera and printer, to checking the weather and communicating with my friends on other planets. It could take me months to be able to afford a replacement. How am I going to blog? I wasn't prepared for this."
No memorial service is planned until a full autopsy can determine the actual cause of death. Any donations would be welcomed at;

Planet Dandy Relief Fund
c/o Jim Dandy
P.O. Box 945
Belfast, Maine 04915

Epilogue...
This obituary was hand written by me Monday morning.
It was my plan to use the computer at the public library in the village to post it, so you, dear readers, would know why I was absent from the blogging community.
The library was closed for Labor Day. Damn.
I went to work.
Another unfortunate event on that same day was actualy responsible for me being able to finally post this from my home today.
A friend died Monday afternoon.
So, after me bitching all day about my computer biting the big burrito and wishing I could afford a new one...
it seems that I have inherited his laptop.
Awkward.
Be careful what you wish for.